Well, I am not sure how to start a post like this... for a multitude of reasons....

(Good idea) Let's use BULLET POINTS!!! I just love those things. They make me feel quite organized... Plus they have always helped to to gather my thoughts in a weird, and probably incoherent sort of way...

• No one could possibly still be reading this...
• Few people ever did (though I still got one subscriber *woot*)
• I never did
• I never posted either (2 in one year??? Kinda a stretch by any means)
• It took me a half hour to remember my password
• And another to figure out how to...post... on this crazy thing
• Its 0236 in the morning???

But for all that, I'm here... Posting on my forsaken and forgotten XANGA log... But perhaps there is a method to my madness!!! If you are reading this, then obviously my first bullet point is wrong! Maybe there is hope yet... I guess I did forget one though- maybe the biggest one of all

• I have no idea what made me think about posting on Xanga

Oh well, I guess there isn't much of a point to seeking reason in randomness, so I will just enjoy this for what it actually is. A way to vent...

So its now October of 2007... Unbelievable... Time has zipped by too quickly this past year or so. In fact, it was funny to look at the paragraph I call my xanga and think about how much has changed since September 27, 2006 at approximately 1159 PM. For the past year I have been working for ERMC Security... I really don't want to get into the details, but about this time last year I was a recently hired enthusiastic little Security Guard at Triangle Town Center mall. That's where I have been for the past year. I am now in a very different position there (still with Security) but I guess that has been the aspect that hasn't changed  as much as everything else. What has changed has been my life, my family, my friends, and my walk with God and in turn my heart and thoughts. Reading things I wrote only a year or two ago in emails, journals, and so on bring into sharp contrast the character change I have undergone. I won't get in to detail yet, but in hindsight I know that it has, for the most part, not been for the better... I have been aware of that of course, but until recently have not had time or the inclination to study and meditate on what has transpired in recent months. Praise God though, I did have my chance- VACATION!!! After over a year of long weeks and for the past couple months working 7 day weeks (I'll explain that later) I finally had a chance to get away and contemplate where I have been this past year, and more importantly- where I am going in the next... I found the first step to be rebuilding my relationship with God, which to be honest, had nearly fallen into a state of... I am not sure what the word for it is... Disfunction? Nobody's fault but my own of course, but I had become very distant... Not by choice so much as it was by neglect... My life had become my jobs... because of that allot was left behind.

Until last week

I found God again... or he found me... Actually we found each other ... not that he went anywhere in the first place, but maybe you get the drift- the point is I was able to finally get some direction that I have been missing for soooo long, and I feel something on my life again that I haven't felt in a long time; the leading of God, and it is a wonderful thing to have back after missing it for so long. There is a week long story behind this, but I won't detail that in this post. If I write again, maybe I will get into it (assuming it hasn't been another year or so) but for now I ask this my faithful reader- pray for me. I have some big decisions to make starting in about a week and I need God's help and your prayers. If nothing else comes out of this post (and I don't even get any E-props) it will be well worth it.

So at least its a post people!!! Took me a year to write it but here it is. Maybe I will be back...probably not for awhile, but I am praying that God is blessing you and working in your life like he is mine. I know this post is random void of any deep revolutionary thoughts but I do hope God has challenged you in some fashion or another. If nothing else consider this; Where were you this time last year- has your relationship with God improved? Thinking like that can do you a world of good

-Sam

I had intended to write that first post tonight, but God had something else in mind. Its 2 in the morning, but I have got to share this with my wonderful readers.

If your a Christian, have you ever considered the internet as a means to win souls for Christ? Either way, consider this. (This was a live chat, so please excuse any typos.)

HallGuy86: sry connection dropped lol..and its dsl!
HallGuy86: What where you saying? Or where you saying anything?
Edit: lol I had that happen a few times
Edit: Bellsouth?
HallGuy86: Yeaaa...
HallGuy86: They have issues.
Edit: what was the last thing written for you?
HallGuy86: You were raised that way
Edit: HallGuy86: Yea. (Say whatever you like btw I won't get offended
Edit: lol
Edit: its cool
Edit: I was being honest
Edit: I'm not one who hates Christians
Edit: I just cant say I honestly believe in all of it
Edit: or any other religion for that matter
HallGuy86: Yea
HallGuy86: Well I can honestly say this man,
HallGuy86: We were talking about bad friends and backstabbers earlyer
HallGuy86: The most amazing, loyal, and decent people I ever knew where Christians, and they drew me to it
Edit: yeah
Edit: they can be very good for support
HallGuy86: Yea
HallGuy86: But I think there more to it.
Edit: and I hate that I draw to God in times of need but at no other time
Edit: then I question it
Edit: so I dont really try at all
HallGuy86: Kinda feel like you just use him when you need him?
Edit: yeah
Edit: exactly
Edit: I dont feel its fair
HallGuy86: Dude I know excactly what ya mean.
HallGuy86: You feel like its just doing to God what you hate people to do to you
HallGuy86: kinda like a heavenly vending machine lol
Edit: lol
Edit: yeah
HallGuy86: I feel that way anymore though
HallGuy86: Let me tell ya how I ended up being a Christian
Edit: k
Edit: ahh I just sneezed like 5 times
Edit: sorry
Edit: go for it lol
HallGuy86: lol
HallGuy86: Sneezing burstlol
HallGuy86: I get those sometimes...They kindahurt...
Edit: lol exactly
HallGuy86: lol...anyway
HallGuy86: I grew up kinda like you. In a christian home with christian parents and siblings, but it never really mattered to me that much
HallGuy86: I went to church, got labeled a christian, even starting considering myself to be one, but I didn't give much though, or care to what it actually was.
HallGuy86: It went on like that for a few years, then I ended up in a really nasty car wreck. It came very close to killing me
HallGuy86: But I managed to pull out of it without even a scar. It was pretty nuts. Anyway, that got me to thinking
HallGuy86: Life is really really short. And sometimes, we don't even know how short it could really turn out to be. So I wondered, what happens after death? Does it really just stop?
HallGuy86: So I decided to actually try and understand Christians, and to do that you got to get into the bible. Thats what real christians consider to be the word of God
HallGuy86: So, I did.. lol
HallGuy86: And I found out the bible talks about life, death, what happens after death, and what to do about it. Plus a ton of other things
HallGuy86: So I kinda thought about that for awhile, and let it sit in the back of my mind.
HallGuy86: until I ended up hearing this guy speak in church.
HallGuy86: He talked about a verse in the bible that says "It is appointed for a man once to die, but after this, the judgement" and he pointed out that we are all going to spend eternity in either Heaven or Hell, and that God has made a way for us to choose.
HallGuy86: I kinda thought, at the time that hell didn't make much since
HallGuy86: That if Jesus really was a God of love, then he couldn't possibly send even the worst people to hell.
HallGuy86: But the speaker said that while God is loving, he is also (by his own admission) holy, or perfect, and he can't be apart of anything sinful. But he also said that God proved he was loving by send Christ to die on the cross. So we could actually have the opportunity to go to heaven when we do die.
HallGuy86: That was one thing that made me think. Christianity, is the only religion that is based on a love system. God loving us enough to send his son. All the others are based on a fear/submission system.
Edit: not to interrupt just letting you know I'm still here
Edit: ing*
HallGuy86: Look man, I know I am really chattering, but its allot to try and sum up in a AIM chat. The thing I am trying to share with ya is basically this. Ever since I became a Christian by accepting Christ in my heart, my life has finally had purpose. When it comes down to it, life can seem really pointless. But when you are sure that you have a new life waiting for you after this one, and that you have nothing to fear in death, in changes you in massive ways. I did that, and I have never been the same. People call me crazy, a zealot, a jesus freak, or maybe a couple other things I rather not repeat :D, but I am just a normal guy, who has been given hope, and I just want to share it. Like any human being should
HallGuy86: yea ty.
HallGuy86: I don't think I am more holy or better than anyone, if fact, I think I am more messed up than allot of people, but I know that I am forgiven...And its awesome.
HallGuy86: I hope that makes sense. I wish I was better at explaining
Edit: you made perfect sense
Edit: its just that I dont know I'm saved
Edit: thats what bothers me
Edit: Ive tried so hard to know
Edit: but I cant
Edit: its like
Edit: I believe in God but I dont
Edit: see I stink at explaining
HallGuy86: lol
HallGuy86: Man I was there!
HallGuy86: I battled with that forever. I always doubted being saved. I didn't feel worthy
HallGuy86: But someone showed me, and I can show you from the bible itself how you can know.
Edit: I dont have a bible with me but can you still show me?
HallGuy86: I would be glad to
HallGuy86: Let me grab mine off the desk, and I will make sure I get the wording right :D
Edit: k lol
HallGuy86: lol sorry
Edit: n/p
HallGuy86: Well first of all, you beleive the bible is true, right?
Edit: I dont know
Edit: the fact that men rewrote it if it was in fact the word of god means they could have changed it
HallGuy86: Yea, but here is how I look at that
HallGuy86: If God said it, I think that he meant it. And if he meant it, then I think he would preserve it. Even morso considering the things he said. A God should be able to preserve his own word
HallGuy86: But anyway, you can think about that on your own. Let me go ahead and show you the verses that I read when I got assurance of being saved.
Edit: k
HallGuy86: Most people don't even know the bible says stuff like this, but anyways. This one was said by Jesus. Its in John 5:24
HallGuy86: Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
HallGuy86: Basically, as far as I can tell, that verse pretty clearly states that someone who beleives Christ can save him/her, will not need to worry about where they stand with god
HallGuy86: Another good one is this:
HallGuy86: Act 16:31 Beleive on the Lord Jesus Christ, and that shalt be saved.
HallGuy86: One you may have heard alredy is john 3:16. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son. That whosever beleiveth in him, should not parish, but have everlasting life.
Edit:  Hm. yeah
HallGuy86: Heres one more. Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God, is eternal life. Through Jesus christ our lord
HallGuy86: One thing i think is interesting in that verse, is that it says that its a gift. And we all know that gifts are (supposed) to be free. Like a birthday gift or something. You don't pay for it, you just take it.
HallGuy86: As unbelievable as it may seem, thats all God wants. He simply wants us to believe that He is able to give us assurance, and save us from sin, and He will do the rest.
HallGuy86: Our world doesn't work like God does, but his plan as is simple as this.
HallGuy86: Ask.
HallGuy86: If you want to be sure, all you have to do is ask.
Edit: whats his plan?
Edit: you mean ask him?
Edit: or you
Edit: sorry lol
HallGuy86: lol
HallGuy86: Let me explain that better. Sorry...I was getting a little excited.
HallGuy86: I have heard it explained like this.
Edit: its cool
HallGuy86: "As simple as ABC. A- Admit that you are a sinner, and that because of that you are apart from God- Romans 3:23: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
HallGuy86: B, Beleive that God is has made a way, and is the one and only way to be delivered from sin. John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
HallGuy86: And lastly, C. confess to God that you have sinned, but also that you are trusting that same sin to Him, and to the payment for sin Christ has made on the cross.
HallGuy86: Thats it man. Just tell that to God. Its called praying of course, but really its just like talking to God like you would any other real person. He is just as real as anyone
HallGuy86: Look man, I know that I am not the best at explaining this sort of thing, but just understand this. I am not trying to get you to join my church, or just some weirdo who likes spouting off about what I beleive, I just simply want you to share in what God has done for me.
Edit: Oh bro I know exactly what your saying
Edit: and I'm glad that you did it
HallGuy86: Does that make any sense?
Edit: yeah. And I believe it.
HallGuy86: All you got to do, is ask God (you can even do it right now) to save you, and bro...He will... He did it for me. I have never regretted it
HallGuy86: and nothing would make me happier tonight then to help you reach that same point.
Edit: Man
Edit I feel peace
Edit: and I need that right now
HallGuy86: Do you?
Edit: deg
Edit: def*(
HallGuy86: Really man. just Ask Christ to come into your heart. He will, and he will stay there too.
Edit I've got a GED test coming up I'm not ready for and I have to find a job soon, and my dads in the military and he said if I dont pass my tests he's gonna make me move back to NC but I dont want to right now cause I have nowhere to live there at the moment
Edit: yeah peace is something I like
Edit: you've actually shown me I need to do what I say I'm gonna do for a long time
HallGuy86: I know what ya mean man
HallGuy86: Whats that?
Edit: stop saying I'm going to praise his name and actually do it, and get things right with him.
HallGuy86: Thats right.
HallGuy86: Look man, I don't know if you have done this yet or not, but I would hate for you to come close and not get it down pat. The bible says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrightousness."
HallGuy86: You only have to do it once to be saved, but you got to confess, and ask Christ to save you. Have ya done that?
Edit: in my head, does it have to be outloud?
HallGuy86: I don't mean to push, but I want to make sure you are set up.
Edit: I'd rather say it out loud but my step mom is asleep
HallGuy86: Hey, God can hear you wheither you speak outloud or not. The main thing is that you truly mean it.
Edit: alright done.                                                                                              HallGuy86: Then if you have accepted that truth in your heart, thats it man. you are saved!
HallGuy86: That can never change. Your sins are under the blood Christ shed on the cross, and thats final
HallGuy86: Lol I am not kidding man, this has made my night.
Edit: mine too
Edit: you have no idea
HallGuy86: I may not have ever met you in real life, but nothing makes me happier than to here that you have gotten peace. I am fired up! :D
Edit: I hope I'm on your buddy list lol
HallGuy86: lol def man!
HallGuy86: same with you.
HallGuy86: Bro, the only things left me to tell ya tonight is this. Welcome to the family of God, first, and second, once your a member of this family, you are always a memeber
Edit: Thank you!
HallGuy86: Last verse for tonight, I promise :D
HallGuy86: My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

28 I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of my Father's hand.
HallGuy86: If you ever doubt, just remember that.
Edit: I'm saving it now
HallGuy86: Hey, don't thank me man, I just passed on what God did. Thank you for accepting it. Tonight, you start a new life. You don't need to worry about anything. God is in control.
HallGuy86: lol ok one more verse. My favorite actually. Romans 8:28 For we know all things work together for good, to them that love God, and to them that are called according to his purpose."
HallGuy86: Just remember that man.
HallGuy86: Awesome bro. What a awesome talk.
Edit: yeah it was
HallGuy86: Do you need a bible btw? I can get one to ya.
Edit: we've got a bunch here
Edit: thanks tho
HallGuy86: Np man.
Edit: I just dont know where they are
HallGuy86: lol let me know if ya can't find one. I will have one mailed to ya asap
Edit: awesome
HallGuy86: Hey, its getting pretty late, but I will be on allot.
Edit: thanks man
HallGuy86: Hey anytime bro, thanks for accepting it! I can't tell ya how much that fires me up.
HallGuy86: I added ya to my list :D
Edit: awesome
HallGuy86: If i can ever help ya with anything, please let me know.
HallGuy86: We are brothers in Christ now, and I am here if I can ever do anything.  Edit: Unbeleivable man. I can't tell you how different I feel...thanks

Thats what its all about.

I don't have much time to explain, but there is a awesome story that lead up to this. More on that later...

So maybe it wasn't a well thought out, catchy, post, I know... But I can't think of a better way to start my xanga. Praise GOD! What a awesome Lord we serve.

God bless until my next post.

Sam